Instagram "Perfect": How to Curb Social Comparisons & Protect Your Mental Health

We all know it, and yet somehow many of us still fall into the trap. We realize that Instagram doesn’t portray the messy, complicated, and real sides of others’ or our own lives, and yet we still compare ourselves (consciously or unconsciously) to the curated and heavily-filtered images we see on our screens. Many of us are also aware of the negative mental health effects of high levels of social media usage, and it still can be so difficult to change our habits. Why do we do this to ourselves, and most importantly, how can we responsibly use social media and keep our mental health intact?

The answer to the first question lies in social comparison theory, which was developed by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954. Festinger argued that humans naturally want to determine how they “measure up” by comparing themselves to others. This desire is driven by the basic human needs of wanting to know one’s self better, to adhere to certain social norms and feel included, and also to improve one’s self. Further, researchers and theorists have discovered that we humans typically compare ourselves socially to those who are most similar to us. As you can imagine, this is where platforms like Instagram come into play. Since it appears we are wired for social comparison, Instagram and other forms of social media not only expose us to more individuals than ever before with whom we can socially compare, but many of these individuals can be considered peers (not just celebrities or other personalities that may feel out of reach).

Though social comparison is a natural phenomenon, it unfortunately has a dark side. A recent study (Jiotsa et al., 2021) found that when individuals engage in high frequencies of social comparison, they experience increased eating disorder symptoms and decreased self-esteem. There is ample research to suggest that frequent social comparisons also contribute to feelings of envy, depression and anxiety (Appel et al., 2016).

So what do we do? If we realize we are going to inevitably engage in social comparisons, and that these comparisons can have considerable adverse effects- what’s the solution?

Here are 7 ways in which we can responsibly use social media AND keep our emotion and mental health intact:

1.) When Triggered, Dig for the Gold.

If you find yourself envious or emotionally triggered in some way upon viewing another’s posts, ask yourself what it is specifically that your are desiring. Is it that person’s job, how happy they seem, the relationships in their life, etc.? See if you can identify the deeper issue and use this as a catalyst for self-growth.

2) Develop a Stable, Strong Sense of Self.

When we have a strong sense of identity, pursuing those interests and values that matter most to us, we are less inclined to engage in harmful social comparisons. We know who we are, what we stand for, and we acknowledge our inherent self-worth.

3.) Connection over Comparison.

Research shows that passive scrolling (as opposed to active scrolling where we are interacting with others on social media) leads to negative social comparisons. Interact with others in meaningful ways- leave a thoughtful comment, check-in on a loved one, and participate in or contribute to causes that matter to you.

4.) Practice Gratitude & Self-Compassion.

Gratitude and self-compassion are antidotes for so many things, particularly envy, self-criticism, and shame. If you find yourself experiencing the negative effects of social comparisons, take a moment, think of a few things you are grateful for or try to elicit a sense of self-compassion.

5). Unfollow Idealized Content.

Choose people and accounts to follow based on your values and interests, not just based on appearances or their “perfect feeds”.

6.) Establish Limits.

Most of say we are going to do this, and yet we don’t actually have a plan in place for decreasing time spent on various platforms. Turn off your notifications, remove the apps from your phone, allow for certain times of the day when you limit your social media check-ins, and continuously evaluate the effects social media is having on you.

7.) Be a Critical Consumer.

Remind yourself that so many of the images we see are not real. Question the images, the messages being portrayed, and the impact (or intended impact) you experience.

Appel, H., Gerlach, A. L., & Crusius, J. (2016). The interplay between Facebook use, social comparison, envy, and depression. Current opinion in psychology, 9, 44-49.

Jiotsa, B., Naccache, B., Duval, M., Rocher, B., & Grall-Bronnec, M. (2021). Social media use and body image disorders: Association between frequency of comparing one’s own physical appearance to that of people being followed on social media and body dissatisfaction and drive for thinness. International journal of environmental research and public health, 18(6), 2880