Afraid your child will learn to hate their body too?

Raising Body-Positive Children: Evidence-Based Parenting Strategies

How in the world are parents supposed to raise body-positive kids in today’s culture, when so many struggle with their own negative body image and when toxic beauty messages still permeate our social experiences? In many ways, we have come a long way as a society, with the body-positive movement and the portrayal of increasingly diverse images of “beauty”. However, we still have such a long ways to go… Our kids are still suffering from poor body image and low self-esteem, putting them at great risk for various mental health struggles. What’s a parent to do? Here is some of the latest research, which can offer valuable insights into best practices for parenting a child with a confident body image. Let’s dive in, shall we?

1. Be a Positive Role Model (a.k.a. “Do Your Own Body Image Work!”):

Children learn through observation, particularly from their parents. Helfert and Warschburger (2011) highlighted that parental attitudes towards their own bodies (e.g., being highly critical towards themselves) can significantly influence their children's perceptions. This is a hard one, I get it! Be kind and compassionate towards yourself, know that it’ll be a journey, but do yourself (and your child) a favor and do your work in this area. It may involve working with a licensed therapist and/or doing various types of body work and embodiment practices (e.g., yoga, massage, etc.). Whatever it involves for you, it will certainly be a time of “un-learning” and deconstructing what society has told you about beauty and worth.

2. Encourage Open Communication:

We all know how important it is to foster open and supportive dialogue with our children. A study by Michael et al., 2013, underscores that parental social-emotional support (providing encouragement and guidance) can greatly impact children’s physical self-worth. Our kids will likely not initiate these conversations; it’s our job to do it. It’s also our job to stay as open and nonjudgmental as possible, even when our kids are bringing up challenging, tricky topics. When we stay committed to ongoing, open conversation, we don’t place so much pressure on any one discussion or talk. We allow ourselves room for error, to be human, and we know that the MOST important thing is our relationship with our kids and that they feel comfortable coming to us.

3. Promote a Healthy Lifestyle Without Emphasis on Weight/Appearance:

A 2023 study in the British Journal of Sports Medicine emphasizes that regular physical activity is crucial for mental well-being, suggesting it should be a central component in the treatment of anxiety, depression and other forms of psychological distress. Promote a healthy lifestyle to your child, focusing on overall health and well-being rather than appearance alone. In our culture, exercise and eating well has become synonymous with also controlling how we look to the outside world. Let’s make an active, healthy lifestyle (whatever that looks like for you!) about feeling better in our bodies and better managing our social-emotional life.

4. Limit/ Counteract Media Influence:

Research by Thai et al., 2023, indicates that limiting media exposure can be highly beneficial to a child’s development. This means delaying social media as long as you can for your child. While we won’t be able to delay forever (they grow up fast!), we can enforce healthy boundaries around media consumption when they are developmentally ready. These boundaries can involve time limits, of course, and also limited exposure to harmful content. Sit down with your child and go through their feed; ask questions about how certain accounts or people online make them feel. Watch TV with them, and if a harmful message presents itself (e.g., a teenager talking about dieting), have a discussion around the issue, let your child voice their thoughts and questions, and listen attentively. We will certainly not be able to control everything our child sees or hears, but we can stay informed, remain in dialogue, and teach them to be mindful consumers.

5. Teach Media Literacy:

 On that note, foster media literacy skills in your child. The American Academy of Pediatrics, in its policy statement on "Children, Adolescents, and the Media," suggests educating children about how media images are manipulated and differentiating between digital representations and real-life appearances. See my post here about a helpful acronym to use in teaching media literacy.

6. Encourage Self-Compassion:

Dr. Kristin Neff's research on self-compassion (Neff, 2009) underscores its significance in psychological well-being. Teach your child to be kind and forgiving to themselves, emphasizing that self-worth is not contingent upon external factors. Allow them to see you modeling self-compassion, meaning allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them without berating yourself, speak kindly about yourself in front of your kids, and practice ongoing self-care.

7. Promote Inclusivity and Diversity:

Exposure to diverse images can have a positive impact on body image. The study “Exposure to body diversity images as a buffer against the thin-ideal: An experimental study”(Ogden et al., 2020) found that when individuals were shown body diversity images, as opposed to neutral or thin-ideal-promoting images, they scored significantly higher on measures of body-compassion and body-kindness. Be sure you support companies that promote body diversity and that do not glamorize only one type of body ideal or aesthetic (especially important in the fashion/beauty industry), and that you celebrate and promote diversity in all areas of your life.

Raising children with a confident body image is an ongoing process that requires a lot of patience and compassion. By applying these research-backed concepts and strategies, you can help your child develop a healthy body image and strong self-esteem, ensuring they have a buffer in a world influenced by unrealistic beauty standards. Hang in there, and know that we’re all in this together.

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Council on Communications and Media, Strasburger, V. C., Hogan, M. J., Mulligan, D. A., Ameenuddin, N., Christakis, D. A., ... & Swanson, W. S. L. (2013). Children, adolescents, and the media. Pediatrics (Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics), 132(5), 958-961.

Helfert, S., & Warschburger, P. (2011). A prospective study on the impact of peer and parental pressure on body dissatisfaction in adolescent girls and boys. Body image, 8(2), 101-109.

Michael, S. L., Wentzel, K., Elliott, M. N., Dittus, P. J., Kanouse, D. E., Wallander, J. L., ... & Schuster, M. A. (2014). Parental and peer factors associated with body image discrepancy among fifth-grade boys and girls. Journal of youth and adolescence, 43, 15-29.

Neff, K. D. (2009). The role of self-compassion in development: A healthier way to relate to oneself. Human development, 52(4), 211-214.

Chicago

Ogden, J., Gosling, C., Hazelwood, M., & Atkins, E. (2020). Exposure to body diversity images as a buffer against the thin-ideal: An experimental study. Psychology, Health & Medicine, 25(10), 1165-1178.

Singh, B., Olds, T., Curtis, R., Dumuid, D., Virgara, R., Watson, A., ... & Maher, C. (2023). Effectiveness of physical activity interventions for improving depression, anxiety and distress: an overview of systematic reviews. British Journal of Sports Medicine.

Thai, H., Davis, C. G., Mahboob, W., Perry, S., Adams, A., & Goldfield, G. S. (2023). Reducing social media use improves appearance and weight esteem in youth with emotional distress. Psychology of Popular Media.

Chicago