It can be difficult being a woman in today’s often toxic beauty culture, and it can be even more difficult as women age. Most women are quite familiar with feeling the pressure to conform to certain body and beauty ideals, and mid-life, in particular, appears to up the ante for many individuals. Not only are women “expected” to be thin, fit and attractive, they are also expected to appear ageless. As a mental health professional specializing in body image and eating disorders, I frequently witness the distinct challenges faced by women in mid-life, and the corresponding impact on their eating behaviors, body image, and overall mental health. So, what are these unique mid-life challenges, and most importantly, how do we help folks in this season of life? (I'm using the term women in this post because I believe that the experience of body image in mid-life is a heavily gendered issue, meaning there are deeply ingrained notions of feminine beauty and worth in our culture. However, I realize body image struggles affect people of all genders, and that the LGBTQIA + population experiences unique challenges in this arena.)
Understanding the Unique Challenges
1. Hormonal Changes
One of the primary factors influencing body image in mid-life is the onset of hormonal changes, especially during perimenopause and menopause. Fluctuating hormone levels can lead to changes in body composition, redistribution of fat, and alterations in skin elasticity, which may challenge traditional notions of beauty and youthfulness. Fortunately, I believe more people are starting to talk about these issues for women, especially perimenopause; however, there is more work to be done. Our bodies change during our lifespan; this is normal and to be expected. We can still aim to feel good in our bodies, take good care of ourselves, and prioritize health and wellbeing (however that looks for each of us and hopefully including physical and emotional health), but to pursue narrow definitions of beauty and self-worth can be problematic. Much like chasing the thin/fit ideal in younger years, chasing the young/thin/fit ideal later in life can be a never-ending cycle as well.
2. Changing Bodies After Pregnancy:
Many women experience significant changes in their bodies during and after pregnancy, which can persist well into mid-life. These changes can negatively impact both self-esteem and body image. Moreover, the societal pressure to "bounce back" after childbirth adds another layer of stress for many women. Add these pressures to the stressors of motherhood, particularly the lack of support many women feel as new mothers, and it can be a recipe for overwhelm and distress.
3. Societal Expectations and Ageism:
Society places unrealistic expectations on women to defy the aging process and maintain a youthful appearance indefinitely. The prevalence of ageism perpetuates the notion that aging is undesirable, fostering insecurity and dissatisfaction with one's changing body as women enter mid-life and beyond. The classic example is the aging Hollywood actor, head full of gray hair and face full of wrinkles, lauded for appearing debonair and sophisticated. A Hollywood actress of the same age would be heavily criticized (or at the very least, discussed in the public forum) for appearing without dyed hair and a body augmented by age-defying procedures. (Again, this may be starting to shift, but there is so much work to be done.)
4. Media Influences:
Media representations of beauty tend to prioritize youthfulness and thinness, perpetuating narrow standards that many women feel compelled to meet. The prevalence of airbrushed images and digitally altered bodies creates unrealistic ideals that can erode self-esteem and perpetuate body dissatisfaction. When women lack visible examples or role models embracing aging authentically, they can experience pressure to conform to societal standards and to reject their own aging bodies.
Strategies for Improving Body Image in Mid-life
1. Practice Self-Compassion:
We need to encourage women to cultivate self-compassion and embrace their bodies with kindness and acceptance. Women need to remember that bodies change naturally over time and that self-worth is not contingent on external appearance. I share this message quite frequently with clients: it is perfectly understandable in today’s society to want to remain youthful in appearance, and to also mourn many elements of our youth. It can be hard getting older! Please don’t judge yourself if you struggle with this; know that you are certainly not alone. However, here is what can be problematic and can cause mental health to suffer: the extent to which youthfulness is pursued, the notion that appearance is so heavily linked to our worth, and the black-and-white thinking that suggests youth is good, aging is bad. Let’s practice not only self-compassion, but also more nuanced thinking when it comes to getting older. Dare I say that we begin to respect the aging process and recognize the great benefits that accompany it (e.g., wisdom, perspective, caring less what others think, a growing library of life lessons and memories)?
2. Challenge Unrealistic Standards & Create Your Own Empowering “Ideals”:
We must promote critical reflection on societal beauty ideals and help women recognize the inherent value in diversity and authenticity. We would all be served by diversifying our social media feeds and surrounding ourselves with representations of humanity that reflect a broader range of body types and ages. This is crucial! Who we surround ourselves with, and the messages we allow in, can have a profound impact on our wellbeing.
3. Focus on Overall Wellbeing/Zoom Out and See the Big Picture:
Let’s shift the focus from appearance-based goals to overall wellbeing. How we function and interact with the world around us is affected by so many factors: the quality of our relationships, our careers, our emotional health, past trauma, sleep, spirituality, socioeconomic status, levels of privilege, access to care, our support systems, etc. What makes you feel alive and whole? What contributes most to your wellbeing? Another key question: zooming out and taking a much wider perspective, how might you personally promote health and wellbeing for all?
4. Seek Support and Create Community:
Let’s also encourage women (and all individuals) to seek support from mental health professionals, support groups, or communities where they can share experiences, gain perspective, and receive validation. Especially since so much of this work can be considered countercultural, it can be incredibly healing to surround one’s self with likeminded individuals who share similar values and goals. Start a book club, have that conversation with a friend, or seek out specialized support pertaining to body image in midlife; it takes a certain level of vulnerability for sure, but I assure you, you aren’t the only one who desperately wants (and needs!) to discuss these challenges.
I would love to hear your thoughts, concerns, or questions about body image in mid-life. What are you experiencing? How are you navigating this season of life? What have you found most helpful?