New Year, True You
One of my “words for 2024” is alignment, which can be defined as syncing up your thoughts, actions, and feelings with what really matters to you. It's about living authentically and intentionally, creating a life that mirrors your true self. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is one therapeutic model that can be super helpful in this endeavor. ACT can help individuals clarify their values and commit to actions that align with those values. Often when I’m working with clients, they say something along the lines of: “Well, I think I have an understanding of my basic values, but I’m still not sure I have a strong sense of self and/or alignment in my life…what should I do?” If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. As a culture, we are taught from a young age to look externally for validation and approval. We are seldom taught to look inwards, nor are we given the tools for effective self-inquiry and understanding. This is where a therapy model like ACT can help you clarify what’s important to you, and- here is the kicker- help you take committed action towards living a life rooted in these values. Please hear me on this: you will not develop a sense of who you are until you take action. In essence, we “grow” our self-identity by taking actions, experimenting, and reflecting upon our experiences. “Does this feel right to me? Is this value truly a driving force in in my life?” If something doesn’t feel right, or if it just doesn’t resonate, we can course correct and try something else. It’s through this critical process, however, that we receive the feedback responsible for boosting that sense of self, and correspondingly, a self-aligned life.
Ready to stop living on autopilot? Want a life that actually reflects your passions, your interests, and your true nature? Here is a list of common values that can help you get started, and here you will find writing tools and exercises aimed at clarifying your values and taking committed action. So, get out your pen and paper, or the notes section on your phone, and start capturing your thoughts. Remember, this is a process you can come back to over and over; it’s most definitely not a one-time thing.
Other questions to consider, as you zero in on what matters most:
What makes your heart beat a little faster?
What did you value most as a child?
What dreams light up your imagination?
What passions fill you with energy and purpose?
Are you being true to your deepest held values in your daily actions?
Do your choices today connect with your dreams for tomorrow?
Are you genuinely passionate or connected to what you’re doing, or are you just going through the motions?
Are the people around you supportive of your values and dreams?
Do your connections bring out the best in you, or do they pull you away from your authentic path (or just not really nurture it)?