Some days, life feels so stressful and overwhelming that we feel completely at loss for ways to get out of our rut or to improve our wellbeing. Often, we may know what we “should” be doing to help ourselves feel better, but we find ourselves lacking all motivation. I see this with people all the time: periods of high energy, marked by a lot of activities and responsibilities on the calendar, followed by times of exhaustion, depression, numbness, and even apathy. It’s important to note that sometimes these fluctuations can occur over months or weeks, but they can also occur within days (or even over the course of the same day). Everyone’s stress and overwhelm looks a bit different, depending on the person. However, we are all impacted, unfortunately, by societal narratives that one must “push through” exhaustion and overwhelm. Most of us are seldom encouraged to properly tend to our bodies and minds, giving them the restoration and recharge they so desperately need.
There is a reason our bodies go into this state of “shutdown” or “collapse” following a heightened time of stress (or chronic stress). From a nervous system perspective, our bodies are attempting to regulate themselves and to achieve a state of balance. It’s as if our bodies “over correct” in an attempt to achieve regulation; our bodies go from hyperarousal to hypoarousal. This is often due to the fact that we are unable (or don’t know how) to regulate our emotions and needs in the moment; we let our stress levels build and build until our body, in essence, yells “no more!”.
Ok, so we find ourselves completely overwhelmed… in a state of total burn out or even shutdown. We want to recharge and resume normal functioning…but we feel overwhelmed even thinking about it, or we just don’t know where to start. What do we do?
The answer I give myself and to the individuals with whom I work is always two-fold: 1) go back to the basics and allow your body time to adequately recharge itself (I’m talking sleep, rest, nature, reduced use of technology, physical and spiritual nourishment, etc.) and 2) pick your one degree shift (s). A "one degree shift" refers to making small, incremental changes or adjustments in one's thoughts, actions, or habits that can lead to significant differences in outcomes over time. It needs to be something that’s easily do-able, so as not to overwhelm you further, but also something that will energize your system and lead to some measurable change.
Here’s a list of one degree shifts that might help you. As always- use what resonates, modify as needed, or add your own ideas.
-Calling or texting one friend every day to connect
-Getting outside daily for a 5-10 minute dose of vitamin D
-Aiming to move your body more, in whatever way feels good for you
-Arranging to meet a friend to go for a walk
-Going to sleep just 15 minutes earlier
-Journaling 3 things you’re grateful for every night before bed
-At the beginning of each month, scheduling in rest time, down time, a “me day”, or a mental health day
-At the beginning of each week, setting aside time to intentionally connect with your partner
-Allocating a certain amount of screen-free time to spend with your child each day or each week
-Scheduling therapy, even if you feel you don’t need it
-Setting a goal to drink more water and/or eat more nourishing foods
-Downloading a meditation app- beginning a meditation challenge to jumpstart a regular practice
-Setting the table, sitting down, and enjoying a mindful meal with friends/family, or by yourself
-Buying those paints, that journal, that calendar, those running shoes, those flowers- whatever it is that will move you closer to a particular goal or the pursuit of a hobby that’s just for you
-Bringing up the hard conversation or setting aside time to talk through something challenging
-Asking a support person for help
-Reducing alcohol intake (drinking less each day or each week, finding non-alcoholic drinks to enjoy)
-Finding one thing in this current season of life that helps you access your higher power or spiritual side
-Beginning to keep a sleep log
-Setting reminders on your phone to schedule yearly check-ups and doctors appointments
Specific examples of “one degree shifts” for eating disorder recovery or healing from disordered eating:
-Eating one challenge food this week
-Throwing out those old clothes that no longer fit you (but that you’re STILL holding onto)
-Agreeing to use Recovery Record with your therapist or dietitian
-Scheduling that appointment: with your RD, your therapist, doctor, psychiatrist, etc.
-Aiming for meal consistency and regular nourishment
-Breaking up with one food rule this week (or truly trying to challenge it)
-Making a coping box or list of ready-to-go skills for when you’re feeling triggered
-Telling a trusted loved one or support person what help you may need before/after/during meals
-Writing down a list of affirmations or mantras to aid in your recovery and carrying it around with you (e.g., “I can trust my body”, “My body needs fuel”, “All bodies are good”)
-Wearing that item of clothing or engaging in that activity that you’re feeling anxious about due to body image concerns
Don’t try to do too much or set too many goals here. You certainly don’t want to swing right back into a state of hyperarousal and overwhelm. The main idea is to go slow and allow for rest, while also taking mindful action to prioritize your health and return to your “center”, that grounded space where you can navigate life effectively and live in alignment with your truest self.